Strange

Strange
To be different somehow
Still lonely
But less terrified
The darkness less thick
The hopelessness
Less final

When things are at their worst
There’s a comfort in the return
To the place of total panic
So you fake through the day
The job
Plans with a friend
Desperate to return to the space
Alone
Where you can toss and turn
And self destruct
Because that at least
Is honest

For that urge
That need to self-immolate
To diminish
Even an inch

What it means exactly I’m not yet sure
But it’s something