Yitzchak (Force)

One way of understanding why
Some people have a hard time with
The usual routines of life
Is the force of their thoughts

If each thought comes with the force
Of a blow
And the thought piled on top of it
The crack of a hammer
By the end of ten minutes
You’re gasping for breath
Mouth open

And if someone saw you
And asked you why
All you can say is
‘I’m thinking’

I once read that Truth comes in blows
And it’s hard to disagree

When your thoughts carry such
Force
And you hit on a Truth
There’s a feeling of wholeness
And joy
That shudders quietly through your body
And you pray
Leave me here
This is more than I ever thought possible
This is what I’ve been searching for
This is who I am
Yitzchak

But you can’t stay there
Not yet
And if Truth and Joy
Shudder quietly through the body
Whole at last

Fear and pain and shame
Hit with blows too
Of terrible Force
Piling on top of each other

Until you want to bash your head on the wall
To stop them
From ganging up
Like kids in a schoolyard
Just old enough to hate

Anxiety
Depression
These are words people use
To try and explain something about the
Force of thoughts
And what they can do
To people who love the world
With a Force
That can sometimes backfire

I have seen my thoughts backfire
And have so far survived
But I have also known real joy
And love

For people who desire an end to the Force
of their thoughts
As I sometimes do
I assign no shame
And reach out my hand
(Not too forcefully)
In love
And understanding

But to those who use the Force of their thoughts for harm
For hate
And to hurt
I raise my fist against you
And pray you are blotted out
Like a shadow on the sun